Isabelle and Lucina Kick Back! An Animal's Story
by secret potted plant
Summary: Hatred. Drama. Violence. Corruption. Angst. Treachery. None of these will happen in this story as Isabelle and Lucina instead decide to forgo all that fighting stuff and just hang out in beautiful Smashville. UPDATE: Now with new New Horizons-centric (sorry for same word twice in a row) content!
1. Isabelle and Lucina Go To The Mall

Isabelle turned the keys on the ignition, her convertible roaring to a start. She plugged her phone into the AUX, turning on her favorite song, "California Love (Remix)" by 2Pac featuring Dr. Dre and Roger Troutman. "IN THE CITYYYY! THE CITY OF COMPTON!" she yelled as she revved down the highway.

She stopped in the parking lot for Smashville Mall, where Lucina was grumbling trying to scrape bubblegum off the bottom of her shoe.

"Hey Lucina!" Isabelle said, deftly whipping out her fishing rod and yanking the bubblegum off with it. "How's it shaking?"

"Oh, uh-" she set her foot back down on the ground. "Um, it's fine. My day's fine. How about you, how're you enjoying your vacation here?" They both started walking towards the mall.

"Oh, it's great! I'm loving living here! I may not win every fight, but at least I get to hang out and get free buffet food."

Lucina smirked. "Heh, easy life here, isn't it."

"Oh, yes yes," Isabelle nodded, "it's been such a nice break from my job, I'm finally able to get my 12 hours of sleep a day."

They walked through the automatic doors of the mall. "Say, how are we gonna pay for stuff? I don't have a credit card or anything."

Isabelle pulled out a fan of 100 dollar bills. "Like this!"

Lucina gawked. "How do you have that much money?!"

Isabelle smiled. "I have a side job writing the fortunes on fortune cookies. It pays well."

* * *

**FIRST STOP: Hot Topic**

"Wow, I haven't been to a Hot Topic ever since I was a teenager!" Isabelle said.

Lucina drifted over to the shirt section, flipping through them rapidly. "I swear they had the Ted shirts here last time…."

Isabelle wandered around the store, frowning. "Where's the goth stuff? I can't find the goth stuff."

Lucina poked her head over. "Hot Topic doesn't sell goth stuff anymore. They moved over to nerd stuff."

Isabelle sighed, going up to the cashier to double check. "Excuse me, Cloud? Do you have any Jack Skellington shirts."

"Nope," Cloud said. "We stopped selling those years ago."

"What about Tripp pants?"

Cloud shook his head. "Nuh-uh."

Isabelle shook in place. "At least some mascara?! Anything, please!"

"Nope!"

Isabelle looked down in disappointment. "Well..." she began to walk out the store. "I guess Goth Wednesday is gonna have to wait a bit longer."

Lucina followed her out, crouching down to her eye level and holding her shoulder. "Hey, don't worry, Isabelle, I got you this belt buckle with Robert Downey Jr.'s face on it."

Isabelle took it from Lucina's grasp, beginning to tear up. "It's not the same…."

* * *

**NEXT STOP: Expensive Non-Franchised Toy Store**

"Oh, yeah!" Isabelle rode around the store on a hoverboard. "Look at me go!"

Lucina turned a two-pronged fidget spinner around with much curiosity. "This two-pronged one doesn't feel as good as the three-pronged ones..." she lifted a four-pronged one in her other hand. "But this one is two heavy!" She digged through the giant basket of fidget spinners. "Come on, where are the classic three-pronged ones?"

"AIIIEEE!" Isabelle fell off her hoverboard onto her back. "Oww…."

Lucina grabbed Isabelle off of the ground. "Hey, c'mon Isabelle, let's hit it, they don't have anything here."

"Yeah..." Isabelle rubbed her back. "And I remember reading a few years ago that hoverboards could catch fire, anyways."

They walked out, Olimar sitting at the cashier's desk with his hands on his face. "No one wants to buy my toys! They just want to come in and make jokes about my products!" He began bawling, a Pikmin hopping up to pat him on the back.

* * *

**NEXT STOP: Forever 21**

"I'd buy this fishing hat," Isabelle said, "but they put a Coca-Cola logo on it for no reason!"

"Forever 21 and putting dumb stuff on their products, am I right?"

"Hah, ain't that the truth, Lucina!"

The duo had a hearty laugh out the store as they held hands.

* * *

**NEXT STOP: Gamestop**

"Yech," Isabelle scrunched her face. "Someone ripped one big time in this Gamestop. Let's get outta here."

* * *

**NEXT STOP: Custom Shirt Shop**

"Woah, woah!" Lucina pulled out a shirt with Peter Griffin wearing tribal tattoos on it. "This store owns!"

Isabelle looked at her outfit in the mirror, decked out in a shirt with Mario holding a gun on it, an "i heart boobies" bracelet, AND a pair of Tripp pants per chance. "Say, I may need to come here more often."

They both walked over to the cashier. "How much for all this?"

Luigi counted up the items. "250 dollars!"

Isabelle slammed a wad of cash on the desk. "Worth it!"

Luigi jumped up and span around. "Oh yeah, Luigi time!"

* * *

**FOOD STOP: California Pizza Kitchen**

The Wii Fit Trainer walked up to Isabelle and Lucina's table. "Hello ladies, what would you like today?"

Isabelle scanned her menu. "Hm, I would like the peeny linguini!"

Lucina set her menu down. "Yeah, I'll have what she's having too."

"All good, your meal will be done in just a few." Wii Fit Trainer took their menus.

"Thank you!" Isabelle waved as Wii Fit Trainer walked off. "So, Lucina, how're enjoying the shopping trip so far?"

Lucina sipped her Pepsi. "I love my new shirt…."

Isabelle chuckled, but suddenly relaxed back in her chair and frowned. "Hey, Lucina, I have a personal question."

Lucina shoved a bunch of the appetizer chips in her mouth. "Yeah, shoot," she mumbled as crumbs fell out of her mouth.

Isabelle hesitated. "… Do you like the band Papa Roach?"

Lucina swallowed down the mass of chips. "Ugh, no. I watched a lot of that show on MTV the lead singer hosted back in the day though. What was it called? _Scarr'd_? Something about extreme sports people getting injured. I think Andy Samberg was on one episode."

"OK," Isabelle reclined back. "Just asking."

The Wii Fit Trainer came back with their pizza. "Here you go!"

"Oh, thanks!" Isabelle stated.

They both looked at the pizza. "Woah… this is one big pizza." Isabelle said, taking out her tiny butter knife. "Well, guess I'd better start cutting…."

"WATCH OUT!" Isabelle looked up and squeaked in fright, jumping out of the way as Lucina brought her sword down on the pizza.

Lucina panted, getting out of her seat to cut the pizza from a few other angles. "Hmm," she struggled with one slice. "This parts kinda hard to cut, give me a moment."

"Sure thing."

* * *

**NEXT STOP: Massage Chairs**

Isabelle yawned. "I'm tired, let's relax here for a little bit." She sat on one of the chairs and popped a quarter in it. "Woahhh..." her voice started vibrating as the machine turned on. "Woahh, Lucina, you gotta try this!

Lucina hestiantly sat herself on one and turned it on. The chair started vibrating Lucina up and down rapidly. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGH!" Lucina screamed as she was launched out the building and star KOed like in the game Super Smash Brothers for Wii U.

Isabelle slipped out of her chair as her session ended. "Ahh..." Isabelle sighed in relief, "I can't even feel my bones anymore!"

* * *

The two walked back out the mall, pooped out from a long day of shopping.

"Thank you for going shopping with me today, Lucina." Isabelle hugged her. "We may not've bought much stuff, but it's not about how much stuff you buy, it's about spending time with your friends."

"True that." Lucina looked at her watch. "Hey, I have to go be at a Smash match in a bit, see you later!" Lucina quickly summoned a portal and hopped into it, she and the portal disappearing almost as soon as it was summoned.

"Wow..." Isabelle stared. "Her power…."


	2. Isabelle and Lucina in: McDonald's

"Hey, Isabelle, does this look like a scam?"

Isabelle leaned over to look at Lucina's computer, the two of them sitting together at a table in Smashville's local McDonald's. "What is that?"

"It says that they send you audio files for you to transcribe, and for every hour of audio you transcribe they pay you 15 dollars."

Isabelle took a big chomp out of her burger, speaking out the corner of her mouth as she chewed. "Nah, I wouldn't go for it. They're just looking to scam you with that stuff." Bits of meat fell out of her mouth onto her sweater vest. "You're not even considered an employee, so they don't have to give you worker's rights."

She paused to gulp the burger down, sighing as she cleaned her mouth out with a large Sprite. "I tried signing up for one of those websites when I was just starting out. Different job, but same deal, they told me that if I went around taking pictures of random people's restaurant food they'd pay me back for every 5 or so I collected. Miserable time. People kept on getting in my face and throwing stuff at me when I tried to sneak a pic of their food. By the end everyone knew me as Bean Girl and my family had to move out because we were getting too many death threats."

"Wait, why Bean Girl, specifically?"

"Oh, that's a whole nother thing entirely." She rested her head on one hand, closing her eyes and contemplating. "Didn't even get paid..." she sighed.

The air between the two went silent for a few moments, before Isabelle peeked her eyes open toward's Lucina's plate. "Hey, are you going to eat that?"

Lucina slid the plate over to Isabelle. "I do not care for burger meat."

The front doors suddenly slammed open as Cloud from Final Fantasy did his fancy strut through the McDonald's, stopping politely in front of the cashier. "Hi, I'm Cloud from Final Fantasy. I would like one crunchwrap, please."

"Coming right up, sir," the cashier - a yellow Pikmin - responded.

"Thank you," Cloud said.

"No problem!" the cashier replied back, handing Cloud a hefty bag of McDonald's product.

"You're the best," Cloud gently cradled the bag from the Pikmin's grasp, handing her back 15 dollars, along with a gracious tip.

"Thank you so much!" The Pikmin jumped with glee as she grabbed up all the money.

Isabelle's eyes followed Cloud as he walked back out, McDonald's in his hand. "Damn," Isabelle sipped her Sprite, "pimp."

Sweat dribbled down Lucina's face as she clicked onto the 13th page of Google results, her body starting to go hot and shaky. "Miss Isabelle, I inquire," she wiped her forehead with a napkin, "what website do you use to put the little pride flag circle around your Twitter icon?"

"You have a Twitter?"

Lucina gulped. "I'm making one right now."

"Ah." Isabelle cleaned the grease off her paws. "Well, I wouldn't recommend using any of those sites. They connect to your account and then read all your data and sell it off to third party companies. Seems a bit sketchy to me."

"Oh," Lucina slammed her computer shut. "I see."

Cloud walked right back into the restaurant, stopping in front of the two gals' table. "Hi guys," he calmly but firmly placed his hands onto the table, "I'm Cloud, from Final Fantasy. I hear you were having trouble with your Twitter icon."

"Uhh, yeah, she was," Isabelle pointed her thumb at Lucina, who was kinda trying to avoid eye contact with everyone.

"That's what I thought. Well, you're in luck: I've started offering Twitter icon commissions. For just a price of 15 dollars I will make a custom pride flag icon for you."

"Oh, hey, look at that!" Isabelle elbowed Lucina. "We'll take one, for her, please."

Lucina stammered. "B-"

"Glad to hear it!" Cloud cracked his knuckles. "I will email you the finished product by the end of this hour."

"Thank you, Cloud!" Isabelle waved as Cloud left the McDonald's again, turning back to Lucina. "You see how nice he was? Hey, Lucina, why do you look so grumpy?"

Lucina groaned. "_Isabelle_, I could've just knocked out an icon myself in Photoshop in like 5 minutes!"

"Photoshop?" Isabelle asked. "But why use Photoshop when you could use **The GIMP**, the free alternative that-"

"Oh, be quiet." Lucina sulked, her phone giving off a little ping as she got a notification from Cloud. She picked it up, bugging out as she saw the finished product. "SAPIOSEXUAL? That's not even a real thing! Aaaaaaaggggh!"

Lucina kicked over their table, Tamama from Sgt. Frog coming into the restaurant at the same moment. "Hmm," he got in the back of the line and started reading the menu. "I wonder if they have salad here."


	3. 1SwagAssAnimalDotCom

"Hey, Lucina, guess what!"

Lucina grimaced, crouched down on the ground. "What?" she responded between gritted teeth, hands busy trying to tie her shoes.

Isabelle pulled out her Linux computer. "I just set up my own website!"

Lucina pulled tightly on her aglets, rolling backwards to peek at what Isabelle was up to. "Hm. It looks like a Geocities website."

"Well, that's the point." Isabelle dusted off her cardigan, using her neutral-B to put her computer back in her bag of holding. "That look is very in chic nowadays. It's like, retro, y'know." She folded her hands behind her back, taking a very dignified and posh walk down the hallway back to their apartment. Lucina followed behind.

"I have a bunch of flyers I printed out for it in our room, I just need to grab them all and we can—" Isabelle grabbed the handle to the door to their room, but the handle didn't budge. "What the? Ohhh..." She blushed, rubbing the back of their head. "I think I left the key inside."

"Here, lemme get at it." Lucina pulled out her sword.

"AGH!" Isabelle held out her arms. "Hey, no need to get all drastic, we can just call someone or something..."

"No no no," Lucina held the point towards the handle. "I'm gonna try to lockpick it."

Her arms shook trying to keep the blade still. The tip slipped into the lock. "Now I just gotta..."

Lucina twisted her sword to the side, her deft movement making those fancy white lines emanate from her body. Unfortunately it just caused her sword to crack and fall into several pieces.

"My sword!" Lucina fell to her knees, holding her hands to the side of her head.

Isabelle sat against the wall while Lucina started bawling and pounding her fist on the floor. "I think we should just stay outside today..."

* * *

"Everybody!" Isabelle yelled into a megaphone. She and Lucina were hanging out on the beautiful Smashville beach, the hottest place for fighters to come relax their bones after a grueling bout of smashing. Right now, several smashers were busy with a heated volleyball tournament — one that Wii Fit Trainer's team was winning, obviously.

"Everyone, pay attention! Starting today, go onto **1 Swag Ass Animal . com** to learn all the latest news about me, Isabelle!" Isabelle dropped her megaphone and took a few heavy breaths. "It costs a lot of money to have this website up so I'd really appreciate it if you could all visit it! And make sure to turn off your ad block too, I need the ad revenue!"

The two watched all the beachgoers, none of them even raising a head at Isabelle's announcement.

"I don't think anybody cares," Lucina said.

Isabelle sighed. "It's a beautiful day today, maybe people just don't care about being online right now." She covered her eyes with her arm. "Here, let's get in the shade for a bit."

They walked away from the shore towards the underside of the beautiful rocky cliffside that bordered the beach. A couple of people were around here: a few photographers capturing the natural beauty of the environment, and a dad and his child exploring around. Good place to sit down and take a break from all the noise and ruckus that defined Smashville.

Isabelle doodled in the sand while she sat. "_Sigh_... I shouldn't take this too hard. Maybe people here just aren't as receptive to my guerrilla forms of advertisement as they are back in my hometown."

Lucina laid against the rocky wall. "It's a way bigger place here. You're gonna have to go with something way more extravagant to get people to notice."

"Did you say 'extravagant?'"

Isabelle and Lucina looked at the edge of the cliff above them. "Huh?"

"Hi, I'm Cloud, from Final Fantasy!" he yelled at them from high above. "Here, lemme come down there so I can talk to you!"

Cloud epically jumped down from the cliff and landed on his legs, breaking them instantly. "AAAAAGGH—Oof!" Cloud's whole body was compressed like an accordion as Wario landed on top of him. "Wah-ha-ha! So I hear you're having problems with your website?"

"Yeah," Isabelle responded. "No one wants to go on it."

"Wah, lucky you! Wario has just started his own advertising service! Banners, television, the whole set! For a fee!"

Isabelle smiled. "Hey, Lucina, what do you think about that? Lucina?" She turned around to check on what she was doing.

"Zzzzz..." Completely tuckered out.

Isabelle chuckled and turned back to Wario. "Well, you came at the right time. How much?"

Wario grinned, rubbing his hands. "25000 dollars!"

"That sounds reasonable to me." Isabelle took a giant wad of money out of her bag of holding, plopping it into Wario's hands.

* * *

"What are you waiting for?"

Lucina sat with Isabelle in front of a coffee shop in the middle of Smashville. Isabelle was staring up at a blank patch in the sky.

"I made a deal with Wario to set up this big advertising campaign." Isabelle sipped an ice tea. "Watch, someone's gonna come flying by with our banner right about...now!"

Everyone in the busy area looked up at the sky as a giant shadow covered the area. "Look, there's a blimp!" Lucas pointed out.

Citizens that had come by to watch began to squint and toss their heads in confusion as the blimp's slogan slowly revealed itself.

**"1 Saggy Ass Animal . com**... ?" Luigi read.

"WHAT?" Isabelle spilled her drink in anger.

Lucina got out of her chair, quickly backing up. "Hey, you got that all over my phone!"

Isabelle heatedly dialed up Wario, wrapping her other arm around her chest as she brought the phone to her ear. "Hey nincompoop, I spent like 20000 dollars on that stuff, what the hell?"

Lucina could hear Wario's sweaty chortle blare out of the phone's speaker. Isabelle backed her head up; she could almost feel his spit coming out of the speaker.

"Wah hah hah, you'll have to tackle me with your puny little limbs before I-"

Wario had to cut his gloating short as his eyes made contact with Isabelle standing just across the street from the office building he was sitting in. Stumbling over himself, he tried bunching together his disorganized hoard of cash and stolen goods.

Isabelle cracked her knuckles and ripped off her vest, revealing her toned, rippling buff forearms under her sleeves. "Get over here, shit-for-brains!" She increased her pace and started to chase Wario across the city, he trying to run as fast as he could to safety. "Argh, where did I park my motorcycle?"

Lucina groaned, grabbing a napkin to dry off her legs. "Guess I'm alone again..." She closed her eyes, solemnly thinking about the cycle of isolation that constantly haunted her life. "Well, guess I better get into Puyo Puyo Tetris again..."

**...MEANWHILE, BACK AT LUCINA'S APARTMENT...**

"How do I keep losing?" Lucina tossed her controller aside, letting her body limply fall forward onto the grody carpet. "I can't handle it..."

"Lucina!" Isabelle banged on the window right next to the television trying to get Lucina's attention. "How did you get in?! Let me in, I think we could still do the flyer thing!" She continued pounding as hard as she could (while making sure not to break the delicate glass), but as loud as she cried, no one could hear her pain.

* * *

"The end." Fozzie Bear gently shut the book closed, placing it above the fireplace. "And now you know how Wario discovered religion."


	4. Springtime Love In The Cityyy

"Oh, would you look at that." Isabelle gave the tree trunk a good tug, tons of peaches falling from the leaves. "Beautiful, juicy peaches." She picked one up and took a big bite. "Mmm, delicious..."

Lucina walked up to Isabelle, tapping her on the shoulder. "Hm?" Isabelle turned her head.

"Hey, I found a stick." Lucina waved it around.

"Oh, that's good! Come on, let's go to my house and we can get everything set up."

Isabelle lifted herself up on her haunches and followed Lucina back to civilization, while carrying a giant pile of fruits, weeds, fossils, and other various flotsam the two found foraging around.

Lucina looked down at her hands, fiddling around with her stick. "So, you actually used to live here?"

"Yeah," Isabelle gasped under the weight of everything she was carrying as she tried to cross the bridge without tipping over. "I ain't a city gal like you, we country girls are used to getting down and dirty." Isabelle stopped when she heard something from her pile drop. "Hey, Lucy, can you grab that?"

Lucina bent down to grab the stone Isabelle dropped. "Hey," she took a very close inspection of it, "they have these where I live too."

"Alright, we're here!" Isabelle kicked open the door to her little house, collapsing onto the bed, along with all of the items.

"Whew," she turned over and dumped the last few things onto the bed, brushing her bangs back. "I'm beat after all that. Give me a moment to catch my breath real quick."

"Sure." Lucina sat gingerly on the Isabelle-sized chair in the room, picking up the coffee-table recipe book for a quick read while she waited. Isabelle rested on her side, scrolling through funny images of bugs on her social media.

"Heh, heh hneh," she snorted, "hnehnehnehneh... hey Lucina, look at this image," she held her phone up.

Lucina leaned forward to see and did a little smirk. "That's cute."

"Yeah, it's like, that's a happy bug."

"OH MY GOD!" Lucina jumped out of her chair and grabbed her stick. "Give me a moment, I just read something that'll change the way you think," she said as she ran outside.

"Okay!" Isabelle waved bye. "If you're gonna make something show me when you're done!"

"Yeah, okay, I will!" Lucina shouted back over the distant noises of heavy clanking.

* * *

"Finally..." The front door suspensefully creaked open, waking Isabelle from her dognap. "Whuh... Lucina? Is that you?"

The silhouette in the doorframe groaned. "Heh heh heh... oof... Isabelle, I have..."

Isabelle pulled out a shovel. "H-hey, I don't know who you are or what you've done to Lucina, but you better stay back!"

"Isabelle, I..." The figure lurched closer, the subtle indoor light illuminating Lucina's features. "It's me, Lucina! I'm just, ugh, a bit tired."

"Lucina!" Isabelle jumped out of her bed. "Your body is all dirty and muddy!"

"Yeah, uh, look." Lucina held up a bucket. "I made this out 5 sticks!"

"Oh, how nice!" Isabelle held her hands together. "Come on, get cleaned up and I'll show you how to use that."

* * *

"Alright, look at this." Isabelle patted the ground, standing up from a crouch. "Beautiful. I planted five flowers down there." Isabelle positioned Lucina's arms, "Now you just wanna tip it over gently so the flower buds can drink up..."

Lucina turned the bucket over, splashing the flowers with water, along with both of their legs.

"Heh," Isabelle wagged her legs dry. "Well, a little more carefully, I would've preferred, but pobody's nerfect! Har har har har, *snort*!"

"Hey Isabelle, do you have any clay?"

Isabelle turned around, beaming at the face she met with. "Ruta! Hey, nice to see you!" She ran up to give him a big hug.

Ruta grinned as Isabelle embraced him by the shoulder, squishing his cheek against her body. "Hey, hey, let go, you're squeezing me too hard!"

"Oh, sorry." Isabelle let Ruta go, still side hugging him. "I just haven't seen you in a while, you know?"

"My gods!" Lucina dropped her bucket, running over to the two. "Another human!"

"Oh, hey!" Isabelle guided Ruta towards Lucina. "Why don't you two introduce each other."

Ruta nodded and walked over to Lucina. "Hey, the name's Rutabaga, but you can call me Ruta for short!" He shook hands with Lucina.

Lucina smiled back. "Hello, I'm Lucina. I come from Fire Emblem." She unsheathed her big, sharp sword. "This is my big, sharp sword."

"Wow!" Ruta stepped back. "That's a big, sharp sword!"

Isabelle pulled out a handkerchief and wiped away a single tear. "You love to see friendships begin..."

* * *

The three ate pizza together in the main plaza, sitting up against the back of the Residential Services center.

"Alright guys, here's my idea." Isabelle pulled the cheese off her pizza and slurped it up. "We do, like, a concert, and we draw a BUNCH of people to come over here."

"Why do you wanna do that?" Ruta asked.

"Well, you see, this is Lucina's first time around, and I wanna get stuff KICKIN', you know? Give it a bit of that OOMPH. Like, get a bit more of that SHAZAM in here, you get me?"

"Probably!"

Isabelle turned to Lucina. "Hey, Lucy, how does all that sound?"

"Hmm." She put a finger to the side of her head. "Sounds... intriguing. Music of the animals..."

"Yeah, yeah, you get me!" Isabelle paused. "So, uh, you know how to play any instruments?"

"I, uh..." Lucina thought for a moment. "I learned to play the triangle in third grade."

"Hell yeah, great!" Isabelle slapped Lucina on the back, making Lucina keel over a bit. "Alright everyone, let's get this popsicle stand set up!"

Ruta shrugged. "Hah, people, am I right?" (ba dum ksh)

* * *

"Alright guys, everyone, listen please!" Isabelle yelled into the microphone, catching the attention of everyone near the plaza and making a little crowd assemble.

"Thank you! Okay everybody," the microphone squealed feedback, "we're the Pooplers and we're here to put on a set for you tonight. I—"

"Hey, where's K.K.?" Al yelled from the back of the audience.

Isabelle swallowed. "He's not gonna be here tonight. He—"

"What? Why isn't he gonna be here?"

"He..." Isabelle looked down at her feet, clenching her face trying to think. "He uh... got knocked on the head by a coconut. And then died."

"WHAT?" The whole audience's jaws dropped.

"Yeah. It was a poisonous coconut." Isabelle nodded her head down and brushed her hair. "Well, anyway, here's our first song!"

Isabelle took a deep breath, strumming a chord on her banjo. "The—

* * *

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Hello, Isabelle?"

"Ughhh..." Her eyes slowly opened. "Lucina..."

Isabelle's vision cleared up, the edges of everything turning sharper. "Where am I?"

"Just relax..." Lucina felt her hair. "When you started the first song a coconut fell on your head and knocked you out."

"Wow..." Isabelle looked out the window. She did still feel a bit of aching on her skull.

"Thankfully you weren't injured or anything. Just got a big bump on your head."

And that's how the two bulbous growths on Isabelle's head formed.


	5. Quickie

**Author's Note:** I'm making an author's note here just so this fanfic feels a bit more personal.

* * *

**(knock knock knock!)**

"Oh! Hello, yes, come in!"

Lucina entered Isabelle's house, flicking on the light switch. "Hey, what are you listening to?"

Isabelle sat on the other side of the house near her bed, busy on her computer and playing audio from her phone speaker. "Oh, it's a Simpsons podcast. They, like, are going through every episode in the series and talking about them. They're on the xixth season right now."

"Xixth?"

"Well, they have a rare copy of the show. One of the guys said that Matt Groening came up to them at a Comic Con and handed them an unlabeled VHS tape and was like," Isabelle put on her best middle-aged cartoonist voice, "'Please, take this away, please, do whatever you want with it, just please help me get rid of this.' They thought they were gonna be cursed or something, but it just turned out to be an unreleased season." Isabelle turned her chair around to face Lucina. "So that caused them to get a _bunch_ of attention, in fact that's when I started listening to the podcast, and ever since then I-"

"Hey," Lucina walked over and leaned in front of Isabelle to look at her computer screen. "What are you reading?"

"Hey, don't look at that!" Isabelle quickly shut her computer lid shut.

"Awww, are you e-dating?"

Isabelle pushed her away. "Don't patronize me," she said with a wry smile.

Lucina squatted next to Isabelle, meeting eye level. "So, you find anyone so far?"

Isabelle sighed. "No."

"Well, here, lemme give you some tips," Lucina said. "I've learned many things from my travels across Earth… romance is but one of them." She walked around the room, hands folded behind her back. "And the most important thing I've learned is…." Lucina jumped back towards Isabelle, doing jazz hands in her face. "Bitches _love_ music."

"Hm," Isabelle put a paw to her chin. "So you're saying I should play a bit of music for them, to set the mood or something?"

"Or better yet," Lucina stuck the tip of her sword in the ground. "Do you know any instruments?"

"Uhh, I can play the bass." Isabelle got up to look through her armoire, pulling out a nifty Isabelle-sized bass. "See?"

"Wow! How long have you been playing?"

"Uhh, like 10 years or so now? It's been, whew, a while."

"Wow. Why don't you play a little, let's see what you got." Lucina sat down and put her hands on her cheeks, looking up at Isabelle.

"Heh, well," Isabelle blushed. "If you say so. I have been putting in a bit more practice lately, so uhhh, here I go." She adjusted her position, and when she felt comfortable, cradled the bass between her arms and started to pluck at the instrument.

**tWANG!-**

Isabelle stuck her lips out, looking down at the strings. One of them broke.

"Aw crap, I-!" Isabelle looked back at Lucina, scratching the back of her head. "Hee hee, I, **ouch**! Shit…." she muttered under her breath after feeling a quick sting on the back of her head, taking a look at one of her paws. "I haven't been taking care of my nails lately," she held them out for Lucina, showing off their sharp points, "must've torn one of the strings…." She picked her bass back up, grimacing at the injury.

"Well," Lucina was a bit lost for words. "Think of it this way: ladies also love a scary and dangerous woman."

"You think so?" Isabelle looked at her claws again, poking herself a few times until she did a little "ow!"

She exhaled out her nostrils. "I don't know, I wouldn't really call myself scary." Isabelle walked over to her mirror, examining her casualwear, composed of a dirty old band T-shirt she got from some concert Digby made her go to several years back - some guy named "Saint Pepis" or whatever - and cargo pants. "Well, I guess my fashion is scary…."

"Just stick it out, bud, you'll find someone." Lucina patted Isabelle on the back. "Just be yourself and someone will fall for you. It's cliche, but, it's true!"

"Yeah, I guess that's true…."

"You're one of the most sincere people I know. Come on, let's go for a walk outside, that'll clear your head a bit."

"Yeah, yeah, yes! I just need to chill out a little." Isabelle grabbed a sweater off her coat rack, opening the door for Lucina behind her. "Come on, I can show you a cool seashell trick I learned the other day."


End file.
